IT

“It's tricky when you feel someone has done something on your behalf”
Desired Constellation, Björk

Thank you for reading this. You arrived at this post without the aid of Facebook, my main channel of divulgation. I chose not to use Facebook because this is a different post. I felt the urge to write in English and see where it leads me, just to practice my poor domain of the language and because I may talk about figures and the universal language to collectibles is English. Right now, I’m intrigued with the conclusion that when I write what I think and you read what I wrote I’m uploading my thoughts to your head. You and I become one. Our souls merge although in a different space-time since you’re not in my room in Brazil and cannot read as I write. Your present is my future at this very moment, as in this very moment, my present is your past, depending on who is looking at it, you or me. This space-time lapse set us apart. Your interpretation may also differ completely from mine and you can form an opinion of your own regarding this text, two other things that set us apart since you are you and I am I. However, as you read this is like my thoughts are rooting and manifesting in someone else’s mind. They are my thoughts and they aren’t since who are thinking them now is you. So my thoughts become your thoughts and this is all a very strange and powerful experience. I guess this is the marvelousness of writing or communication in general, though I think writing is more personal. More up close. More deep. It’s kind of hypnotic. This looping of me becoming you and you becoming me even though we never met eye to eye. Now you’re inside my soul, You’re reading exactly what I’m thinking, no holding ups. Now I’m think since I remembered that I’m writing on my collectibles blog about one figure, one specific picture of it you can only imagine if you saw and as I don’t know if you did I’ll will post the picture below so that our “databanks” stay updated regarding the subject. Here we go:

I gave up my Malavestros pre-order and all my reward points I put into that statue due to this piece. Hulk life-size bust. I believe its box will be bigger than the maximum size allowed to be brought to Brazil as checked luggage so I will have to send it directly to Brazil via Sideshow (that is the most inexpensive delivery service I could find). Even being cheaper, the shipping costs will be well over $300 not to mention the custom taxes of my country that are 60% over the declared price plus the shipping. In other words, I will have to pay more than twice for the figure. That is already expensive by its own, $980. This is very bad news and something I was not waiting since it’s the first (and last) bust I buy. You can add to the calculus the $184,50 I lost cancelling Malavestros pre-order and – boom – you have the most expensive figure I have ever bought. By a far margin.  How I dealt with the other figures I’ve bought? Very simple, I sent them to my brother’s home who lives in US and once they get to visit us here or we get to visit them there we bring one or two statues as luggage. No absurd taxes or shipping costs. Why did I give up Malavestros? Well, I am retired or better saying legally invalid so I’m almost not a citzen anymore. I can’t vote, I can’t drive, I can’t marry… the list goes on. And who responds legally for me is my mother who controls my pension. As you may imagine my mother just hates the figures and think they are an awful waste of money. As most people do. I don’t blame her, especially because I’m the only one who cares about figures and statues in my social circle. Everyone thinks is quite nuts to spend such amount of money on a “toy”.

Well, not knowing how to communicate my mother about the arrival of Hulk without getting her infuriated, I decided to write an e-mail telling about the Hulk and the two other figures I intend to buy before quitting collecting. In the e-mail that “stunned” her (in her own words), I forgot to mention Malavestros’ pre-order. Fearing a retaliation of some kind, like cutting my credit card, I decided to cancel the pre-order since I didn’t mention that on the e-mail and I was most certain she wouldn’t believe me I ordered it before the Hulk (what wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway). My mother is very tight-handed about money and a very irascible person so I saw myself with no alternative whatsoever than cancelling Malavestros. That was the only way to earn her trust and maybe be able to acquire besides Hulk, the two other figures I wish before I quit collecting once for all. The prices are raising too darn fast. I can’t keep up with them. My pension is not enough to keep collecting and pay all my bills and although maybe other figures come to arise my desire I will have to contempt myself with what I will have. Also due to space issues I can’t have the luxury of have many more figures. My bedroom is my “man-cave” (I think this term so sexist, since there are girls who collect too) and my room is not a big one. I need to reform it in order to be able to accommodate my collection. I hope for the reform to happen in mid-2018 to the beginning of 2019. In other words, more money to spend, even though labor is much cheaper here than in first world countries it will be expensive nevertheless. But which other figures I want to acquire?

I hope the Mona Lisa smile comes with the figure and is not a light and shadow effect from the picture. I found her to have an Art Nouveau style for the head sculpt making her the most beautiful female character Sideshow ever produced, in my opinion.

It’s obvious to me that she is a computer generated piece, but, although I consider myself a purist and prefer hand sculpted pieces, I think technology came in favor of the piece in this particular case. I believe it would be almost impossible to sculpt such a wonderful face with hand sculpt. Not to mention the details on the axe and overall armor and weapons. But especially the face caught me. And I like her body, less muscular than other sideshow female statues. All in all, a perfect sculpt I have to have in my collection. I’m expecting her price not to be over $500-550 since the Red Sonja She Devil with a Sword has a much more elaborated base and costed $550. I hope this one not to be different. It would be the fair price tag for a statue from the same character with a much less elaborated base. Got my fingers crossed on that. (Note: it came ot for $560 exclusive, $550 regular)

The final statue of my collection is this big boy:

A terrific hand sculpted statue that could not be captured like this with computer programs. This organic and manual feeling can’t be done on computers. It’s the exact opposite of Red Sonja. It uses all that only hand sculpting offers to thrive in glorious shape. I’m very afraid of the price of this piece, it can range from $700 to more than $1,000. I hope Sideshow keep its feet on the ground and offers this figure for $750-$800 max, so I can afford it. I also hope that the box fit checked luggage specifications so I don’t need to spend another load of cash to have it here in Brazil (apart the load of cash I will already be spending in acquiring it). But who I’m trying to fool? My mother will not allow me to buy any other figure anymore in my life after the Hulk experience she’s about to have. What will make really me sad. Or upset, since the money in the end is mine. There’s an inch of hope since I already communicated my plans to her on the e-mail. Maybe just maybe, after I pay Hulk, she allows me to go on with these two. Then no more statues for me, I’m done with it. For good. Then will be time to fix my room to accommodate my pieces and be able to watch them every day.

If I had to choose one of the three? I would say thank god Hulk bust came out first since is the figure I’m really in love. I never felt this way with any other figure in my life. I go to its page every day to watch the pictures and allow me to be enchanted by them. Enchanted, this is the precise word to describe how I feel about Hulk. To me is the best Hulk sculpture ever done. It oozes so much detail and personality is breathtaking. I think I will never get tired of looking at it. That’s why I don’t think in quitting it at all. It’s a huge problem. An expensive one. But if I have to have a great finale to my collection Hulk LSB will be it. As always, I seem to like statues that are underrated and have low revenue value. But I don’t plan to sell my statues anytime soon. Only when I am very old I will slowly selling them. Therefore, I will not bother anyone else with the burden to deal with them, an idea I got from a very wise collector from Facebook.

Well, thanks for visiting my mind, my life and my dilemmas. I wrote exactly as it came to me. Sorry for my broken English I never took English classes, I’m a self-taught English speaker/writer and not a good one at that, as I always say.

Many must be thinking I will not quit collecting at all. But none of you know my mother or my will.

I will only post this text after I publish Erick Sosa’s interview. He may read this and quit answering the questions altogether. (Note of the editor: Erick is taking too long to answer because he is very busy and I have the freedom to post what I want in my blog.) This Matrix thing in the beginning of the text is not for the faint of heart. And I don’t know if it’s true. It’s just the way I feel about writing and the power of the written word. I think is kind of a symbiotic experience where one mind entangles with the other, more in autobiographic texts but also in fictional ones though accessing different parts of a person’s mind. The fictional texts are more distant from the author himself than an autobiographic one. I the latter you get to know the real feelings and thoughts of the person writing and share in your own way the experiences the author is experiencing. I don’t know if it will touch the reader the same way, since we are two completely different persons but will be as close as it gets to dive into one’s mind. I think this kind of sharing what drives me to write, especially in Portuguese. On this blog I am sincere but I have a subject other than me, the figures. I can’t escape the figures in my Portuguese blog but they appear more like in this post, as an integrated part of my life, I’m not advocating nothing regarding them, just expressing my feelings and worries about them and how they mingle into my life. And I bring my mother a lot in my writing since she controls my life in more aspects that would be suitable. In part because I let her to. In part because of my legal situation. The only thing I know is that after much darkness in my life I like living and want to keep it that way. Be over-controlled by my mother is just a tiny detail. A big tiny detail. Nevertheless, she started going to therapy. Maybe this helps her to respect more my spaces. And let me live my life with a bit more freedom. A freedom that I don’t really need right now given I’m so anti-social nowadays. When I don’t go to the CAPS (Center of Psychosocial Aid) I’m in my room writing or roaming through the collectors groups. Looks like a very limited life but it suits me just fine. I do what I love that is writing. I don't have to participate in the theatre of social interactions. I can be me most fully when I write then when I talk to someone. I am strange I know. I feel strange and out of the place in this world. But as I said, I enjoy living, I’m glad there’s another day after this one. I spent a lot of time hating tomorrows, begging to today be my last day as myself, even trying to accomplish that. As I said, I come from darker times. I hated myself and wanted to die. All days. All day. Finally, when I find my comfort zone, find a way I like to be me I won’t abandon myself just because it’s a weird behavior in everybody’s eyes. I stick to what I have as tight as I can, since I found my formula of being happy. The loneliness can be sometimes tedious, but this feeling doesn’t come very often. It would be a joy to have a girlfriend. That’s why I still socialize, in search for a girl that fits my heart and I fit hers. Other than that I don’t see much point in go to parties since I don’t drink anymore and really don’t like to dance and really dislike the social circus where once I was the clown, the heart and soul of the party. I’m not this guy anymore. As I said I’m passing by a very anti-social social stage of my life. I like it but it bothers me because I didn’t want to become so weird. However, at the core I came to believe we’re all alone in this life, all of our social network is based in dependence, interdependence, codependence or supplying. I seek to be as independent as I can and it revolves in loneliness so I’m steadily becoming an urbanoid hermit. I thought and sometimes I still do think that true love can aid a lot to one’s happiness but I am not emotionally available to it right now. And yes I will come back to therapy by the end of the year. I know I need. I just don’t want right now. Again not emotionally or psychologically available. I guess this post went far too long. I will end it here. If I would trade my Hulk LSB for a girlfriend? Only if it was Aurora the love of my life. Yes she exists but is just a platonic passion as things goes at the time being. And you? How did you feel about being me for a while? Hope you can get the statues you want, I hope I get the statues I want. And by the end of 2019 have all of them exposed in my room. I wish I started to like gaming once again. And watch movies. Have so many to see. So much to play. But I don’t quite feel like it. My urge is to write. It’s the most fun I have and is the easiest thing in the world for me. Not in English but in Portuguese. By the way, I got to revise what I wrote yesterday. Until the next post I hope will be more targeted in figures.

P.S.: I know I seem like a complete social failure but look at the bright side I not going with the herd, I determined a modus operandi completely mine and most importantly I’m happy being this way. There are limitations. Several. However, there’s a kind of freedom few people experience. The freedom of the mind. My mind is as free as it possibly gets. Therefore, I can be free even on a jail. As long as I’m able to write. Writing is what ties me and liberates me from the world. It’s my meditation. It’s my way to connect to myself and explore me. There’s lots to uncover and discover yet and I think there will always be more. The human being, the human essence is endless.

Why the quote from Björk at the beginning of the text? I really don’t know. I was listening to it and happened to like the verses. Lol.